Boasting & Bragging / Spoggery

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“If I seem to boast more than is becoming, my excuse is that I brag for humanity rather than for myself.”

Henry David Thoreau

Yesterday I said that it is good to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, but that it should not transmute into boasting. Quite fittingly we will be rethinking bragging and how appropriate it is in our lives today. There is a thin line between modesty and bragging (which I will refer to as self-promotion). According to Shilo Rea, self-promotion usually backfires because self-promoters overestimate how much their self-promotion elicits positive emotions and they underestimate how much it elicits negative emotions. Dr. Irene Scopelliti, an expert in the field of consumer psychology, judgment, and decision making, said that bragging is probably just the tip of the iceberg of the self-destructive things people do in the service of self-promotion. People who boast seem to have an inferiority complex, says John Bright, the British radical and liberal statesman of the mid-19^th century. More so, people tire very quickly of constantly hearing someone talking about their achievements and quickly remove themselves from the boaster’s vicinity. Professor Susan Whitbourne, a psychologist, says that almost no one likes a show-off but almost everyone likes to show off, at least a little. The best way to brag about yourself to others, she said, is probably not to brag at all. Let other people do the bragging for you. No one will ever fault you for being happy about the result of successful effort on your part. By not bragging, you’ll guarantee that people will be even more likely to root for your continued successes the next time.

Rather put your bragging rights away,
that will really be okay.

You will surely be nothing less without any bragging right,

and maybe you will even sleep better at night!

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“As dit voorkom asof ek meer spog as wat ek moet, dan is my verskoning dat ek vir die mensdom spog en nie vir myself nie.”

Henry David Thoreau

Gister het ek daarop gewys dat dit belangrik is om erkenning te gee aan jou prestasies en om dit te vier, maar dat jy versigtig moet wees dat dit nie oorgaan na oordrewe spoggery nie. Vandag sal ek derhalwe raak aan spoggery en hoe toepaslik, indien enig, dit in ons lewens is. Daar is ‘n fyn lyn tussen beskeidenheid en roem (grootpratery en spoggery). Kom ons noem roem, vir die doeleindes van ons gesprek, selfpromosie. Volgens Shilo Rea ontplof selfpromosie gewoonlik in jou gesig omdat diegene wie dit doen gewoonlik oorskat hoeveel positiewe emosies hul selfpromosie uitlok en onderskat hoeveel negatiewe emosies dit uitlok. Dr. Irene Scopelliti, ‘n kundige op die gebied van verbruiker-sielkunde en besluitneming, meen dat spoggery net die puntjie van die ysberg van selfvernietigende gedrag is wat mense in die proses van selfpromosie doen. Mense wie grootpraat en oormatig spog, het ‘n minderwaardigheidskompleks, sê John Bright, die 19de eeuse radikale en liberale Britse staatsman. Meer nog, mense raak gou moeg en keelvol daarvoor om voordurende te luister na iemand ander se spoggery oor hul prestasies. Professor Susan Whitbourne, ‘n sielkundige, sê dat bykans niemand van ‘n spogsiek persoon hou nie maar dat almal daarvan hou om te spog, al is dit net ‘n bietjie. Die beste manier om oor jouself te spog, sê sy, is om gladnie oor jouself te spog nie. Laat ander mense eerder oor jou spog. Niemand sal jou ooit kritiseer as jy gelukkig en tevrede is met jou eie resultate en prestasies nie. Deur nie te spog nie sal jy verseker dat andere heel moontlik jou rugsteun vir sukses wanneer jy weer iets aanpak.

Plaas jou spggery onder ‘n emmer,
laat dit nie jou menslike interaksie belemmer.

Wees eerder nederig en aanvaar jou prestasies soos dit is,

Sodoende skep jy ‘n gesonde menswees, weet dit gewis!

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