“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.”
W.H.
Auden
I always smile when I read these words by Auden. We are indeed here
to help one another, but few fully realise this in our self-centred world. The
Dalai Lama says that our prime purpose in this life is to help other people,
and if we can't help them, then at least we should not hurt them. He also
says: “If you want OTHERS to be happy, practice compassion. If YOU want to be
happy, practice compassion.” I don’t agree with him that helping others is our PRIME
PURPOSE, but it is one of our purposes of being human. Albert Schweitzer is
more in line with my way of thinking when he reminds us that the purpose of
human life is to serve and to show compassion and the will to help others.
Saint Augustine takes it further by saying that if you want to know what love
looks like, then you will see it in the hands that help other people. You will
see it in the feet that hasten to the poor and the needy. It has eyes to see
misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of humanity.
That is what love looks like. Many are so obsessed with their own little lives
that they forget to think about others who are worse off than themselves. I
hope you are not one of these, and if you are then it is my humble plea that
you extend your thought-boundaries and incorporate those worse off than yourself.
Never hesitate to lend a helping hand, and remember, you actually have two of
them. They are both at the ends of your arms. The one you can use to help
yourself, and the other one to help others.
There are however two questions to be answered: How
can I and why should I reach out to others? More than a decade ago, Leo Babauta
wrote a piece called “25 Ways to Help a Fellow Human Being Today”. Let me recap
these ways for you, hopefully, you can find some pointers and some work for one (or
maybe even both) of those two hands.
- Smile and be friendly. A simple little thing like this can put a
smile and warm feeling in someone else’s heart, and make their day a little
better.
- Call a charity to volunteer. Volunteering is one of the most
amazing things you can do.
- Donate something you don’t use. Others can put your clutter to good
use.
- Make a donation. There are lots of ways to donate to charities.
- Redirect gifts. Instead of having people give you birthday or
Christmas gifts, ask them to donate gifts or money to a certain charity.
- Stop to help. When you see someone in need, stop and ask how you can
help.
- Teach. Take the time to teach someone a skill you know.
- Comfort someone in grief. Often a hug, a helpful hand, a kind word,
and a listening ear, will go a long way when someone has lost a loved one or
suffered some loss or tragedy.
- Help them take action. If someone in grief seems to be lost and
doesn’t know what to do, help them do something.
- Buy food for a homeless person. Don’t give cash, be respectful and
friendly and rather buy something to eat.
- Lend your ear. Often someone who is sad, depressed, angry, or
frustrated just needs someone who will listen.
- Help someone on the edge. If someone is suicidal, urge them to get
help.
- Help someone get active. A person in your life who wants to get
healthy might need a helping hand — offer to go walking or running together, to
join a gym together.
- Do a chore. Help someone out with something small or big, like
cleaning up or washing a car or doing the dishes or cutting a lawn.
- Give a massage. Only when appropriate of course. But a massage can
go a long way to making someone feel better.
- Send a nice social media message. Just a quick note telling someone
how much you appreciate them, or how proud you are of them, or just saying
thank you for something they did.
- Show appreciation, publicly. Praising someone on a blog, in front
of co-workers, in front of family, or in some other public way, is a great way
to make them feel better about themselves.
- Donate food. Clean out your cupboard of canned goods, or buy a
couple bags of groceries, and donate them to a homeless shelter.
- Just be there. When someone you know is in need, sometimes it’s
just good to be there. Sit with them. Talk. Help out if you can.
- Be patient. Sometimes people can have difficulty understanding
things, or learning to do something right. Learn to be patient with them.
- Tutor a child. This might be difficult to do today, but often
parents can’t afford to hire a tutor for their child in need of help. Call a
school and volunteer your tutoring services.
- Create a care package. Soup, reading material, tea, chocolate …
anything you think the person might need or enjoy. Think about the elderly and
those who are sick.
- Lend your voice. Often the powerless, the homeless, the neglected
in our world need someone to speak up for them. You don’t have to take on that
cause by yourself, but join others in signing a petition, writing letters and making
a need heard.
- Offer to babysit. Sometimes parents need a break. If a friend or
other loved one in your life doesn’t get that chance very often, call them and
offer to babysit sometime.
- Love. Just express your love. A hug, a kind word, spending time,
showing little kindnesses, being friendly … it all matters more than you know.
Helping others and doing good is
beneficial in that it:
- makes you feel better about
yourself;
- connects you with others, for a
moment or for life;
- improves the life of another;
- makes the world a better place,
one step at a time;
- can multiply and multiply if that
kindness is passed on.
Is that reason enough to help
others? I think so! And that is that, but I will give William Shakespeare the
final word: “How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed
in a weary world.”
We know
that it’s a strife,
This
daily toil of life.
Give a
helping hand to another;
reach
out and assist a fellow sister and brother
-------------------------------------
∞ -------------------------------------
“Ons is
almal hier op aarde om andere te help; wat op aarde die andere hier voor
is, weet ek nie.”
W.H.
Auden
Ek glimlag altyd as ek hierdie
woorde van Auden lees. Ons is inderdaad hier om andere te help, maar nie almal
besef dit in hierdie self-gesentreerde wêreld nie. Die Dalai Lama het gesê dat dit
ons primêre doel op aarde is om andere te help, en as ons hulle nie kan help nie
moet ons hulle ten minste nie skade berokken nie. Hy het ook gesê: “As jy wil hê
dat ANDERE gelukkig moet wees, beoefen dan ontferming (barmhartigheid). As JY gelukkig
wil wees, beoefen dan ontferming (barmhartigheid)”. Ek stem nie met hom saam dat
dit ons PRIMÊRE DOEL is om andere te help nie. Ek stem egter saam dat dit een
van ons doelwitte is. Albert Schweitzer herinner ons daaraan dat dit die menslike
doel is om te dien, barmhartigheid te toon en om andere te help. Sint Augustine
neem hierdie onderwerp verder deur daarop te wys dat as jy wil weet hoe liefde
lyk, jy dit sal sien in die hande wat andere help. Jy sal dit sien in die voete
wat haastig is om diegene wie arm en behoeftig is, by te staan. Dit het oë wat
elende en behoefte raaksien. Dit het ore om na die gekreun en droefheid van die
mensdom te luister. Dit, sê hy, is hoe liefde lyk. Baie mense het so ‘n obsessie
met hul eie klein lewens dat hulle gemaklikheidsonthalwe vergeet van diegene
wie slegter daaraan toe is as hulself. Ek hoop regtig jy is nie een van hulle
nie, en as jy is, dan is dit my nederige pleidooi dat jy jou denk-grense verskuif
en ruimte maak vir diegene wie slegter daaraan toe is as jyself. Moet nooit
huiwer om ‘n helpende hand te gee waar jy kan nie, en onthou, jy het twee
hande. Jip, hulle is daar aan die einde van jou arms… Jy kan die een gebruik om
andere te help en die ander een om jouself te help.
Daar is egter twee vrae om te
beantwoord: Hoe kan ek, en waarom moet ek andere help? Meer as ‘n dekade gelede
het Leo Babauta ‘n stuk geskryf oor 25 maniere om jou medemens te help. Laat ek
kortliks hierdie punte weergee en hopelik kan jy enkele wenke en werk kry vir
een (of selfs beide) van daardie hande.
- Glimlag en wees vriendelik. Iets so eenvoudigs soos dit kan ‘n warm
gevoel in iemand anders se hart laat en hul dag sommer heelwat beter maak.
- Wees ‘n vrywilliger by ‘n welwillendheids organisasie. Moet nie
skroom om jou hulp aan te bied nie.
- Skenk dit wat jy nie gebruik nie. Andere kan jou “rommel” tot goeie
gebruik aanwend.
- Maak ‘n skenking. Daar is baie maniere om skenkings aan
welwillendheids organisasies te maak.
- Stuur geskenke in ‘n ander rigting. Instede daarvan dat iemand jou ‘n
(verjaardag of Kersfees) geskenk gee, vra dat hulle dit eerder skenk aan ‘n
welwillendheids organisasie.
- Stop om andere te help. Wanneer jy iemand in nood sien, stop en
gaan help hom/haar.
- Onderrig. Neem tyd om iemand ‘n vaardigheid wat jy ken te leer.
- Vertroos iemand wie in smart verkeer. ‘n Drukkie, ‘n helpende hand,
‘n sagte woord en ‘n oor wat luister, kan ‘n ver pad gaan om iemand te vertroos
wie in droefheid verkeer.
- Help andere om aksies te neem. As iemand in droefheid verkeer en
nie weet wat om te doen nie, help hulle om iets daaromtrent te doen.
- Koop kos vir ‘n hawelose persoon. Moet nie geld gee nie, wees
vriendelik en beleefd en koop eerder iets te ete.
- Leen jou oor uit. Iemand wie hartseer en depressief is het soms net
‘n oor nodig om na te luister.
- Help iemand wie op die afgrond staan. As iemand selfmoord gedagtes
koester en alles net wil oorgee, moedig so ‘n persoon aan om hulp te kry.
- Help iemand om aktief te raak. As iemand wie jy ken ‘n gesonder
lewensstyl wil leef, gee hom/haar ‘n helpende hand.
- Doen ‘n huistakie vir iemand anders. Help iemand anders uit met
iets klein of groot, soos opwas, of kar was, of gras sny.
- Gee ‘n massering. Slegs as dit natuurlik betaamlik is. ‘n Massering
kan baie help om iemand anders beter te laat voel.
- Stuur iemand ‘n mooi sosiale media boodskap. Net ‘n kort
boodskappie wat sê hoeveel jy iemand waardeer, hoe trots jy op iemand is, en
net om dankie te sê vir alles, kan baie beteken.
- Wys jou openlike waardering. Gee openlike aanprysing aan ‘n medewerker,
familielid of wie ookal. Dit mag daardie persoon net dalk beter oor
hom-/haarself laat voel.
- Skenk kos. Koop ‘n sak kruideniersware en skenk dit aan ‘n plek vir
haweloses, of vir iemand behoeftig.
- Wees net daar. Wanneer iemand wie jy ken behoeftig is, wees daar
vir hom/haar.
- Wees geduldig. Mense kan soms sukkel om iets te verstaan of nuuts
aan te leer. Leer om geduldig met hulle te wees.
- Help ‘n kind met ekstra klasse. As jy kan, help ‘n kind wie se
ouers nie ‘n privaat onderwyser kan bekostig nie, met ekstra klasse.
- Skep ‘n “omgee pakkie”. Sop, tee, ‘n sjokolade en leesstof … enigiets
wat jy dink ‘n bejaarde of siek persoon beter sal laat voel.
- Leen jou dienste uit. Gewoonlik het diegene wie nie die krag het
nie, soos die haweloses, die verwaardloses en die minderheids groepe, iemand
nodig om namens hulle te praat. Word deel van die teken van ‘n petisie of wat
ookal nodig is om jou stem te laat geld.
- Bied aan om kinders op te pas. Soms het ouers ‘n breek nodig. Gun
hulle ‘n aandjie uit terwyl jy na hul kinders kyk.
- Liefde. Druk net jou liefde uit. ‘n Drukkie, ‘n sagte woord, die
spandeer van tyd, die wys van goedhartigheid, vriendelik wees… dit maak meer
saak as wat jy kan besef.
Om andere te help is voordelig
omdat dit:
- jou beter laat voel oor jouself;
- jou met andere verbind, hetsy dit
vir ‘n kort oomblik of lewenslank is;
- die lewe van die ander persoon
verbeter;
- die wêreld ‘n beter plek maak,
tree vir tree;
- kan vermenigvuldig as daardie
goedaardigheid aangegee word na die ander persoon.
Is hierdie redes genoegsaam om
andere te help? Ek glo so! En dit is dit, maar laat ek William Shakespeare die
finale woord gee: “How far that little
candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.”
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