“We are always getting ready to live, but
never living.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why is that? Maybe Ralph Waldo Emerson knew that we
are holding ourselves back because of INDECISION. That will be our
topic for the day, or maybe not, let’s see…
The French cultural critic, Jean Baudrillard, said that
you need an infinite stretch of time ahead of you to start to think, and infinite
energy to make the smallest decision. He said the world is getting denser and
that the immense number of useless projects is bewildering, that too many things
have to be put in to balance up an uncertain scale. You can’t disappear
anymore; you simply die in a state of total indecision. How true do these
words ring in the 21st-century, and how similarly true the
expression that we all know what happens to people who stay in the middle of
the road – they will get run over.
Indecisiveness must certainly be one of life’s
greatest burdens. It is so
simple, when you refuse to make the right choices, you have already chosen to
live the wrong way. Does that make sense? Let me say it more plainly: Indecision
is a decision to live wrongly. Just imagine living with someone so indecisive that
you never know where you stand with that person. Oh my goodness… The 13th-century
Jewish Philosopher and Physician, Maimonides, says that even the risk of a wrong decision is preferable
to the terror of indecision. We make choices every single day; just reading
this was a choice you made, but at least you made a choice. You will make good
choices, you will make bad ones, but for goodness sake, never immerse yourself
in indecision. Nothing
is so exhausting and as futile as indecision.
In his blog, Robert Adams discuss the six main reasons why people become
indecisive (see picture). I would
like to summarise these 6 points here.
1. Paralysis by analysis
A lack of all the facts necessary to make life-changing decisions can lead
to indecisiveness. If you over-analyse, you may fall into “paralysis by
analysis”.
Do not always over
think things, tap into your intuition if you must.
2. Limiting beliefs
Even when we have all the facts, we can often remain indecisive because
we have become locked into the past; past people, past events, past patterns
and behaviours. This can create a feeling of not being able to let go and so
not being able to make that important decision.
Work on reducing and eliminating your limiting
beliefs.
3. Distractions
For others, there is a tendency to find distractions as a means of not
having to make a decision. Unfortunately, these great distractors are likely to
end up having a decision forced upon them for good or ill.
Learn to focus and to accept the responsibility for
your own life.
4. Laziness
By being lazy, it is easier to make no decision than it is to commit to
a course of action. The choice not to make a decision is a decision in its own
right, just not a very proactive and positive one.
Take control of your life and your commitment to
purposeful decision making.
5. Stress and anxiety
Making big decisions can be stressful, and this can lead to us shutting
down and so we feel unable to make a decision. It is important to recognise
just how much emotions influence your decision-making process.
Change your emotional state to change your decision
making potential.
6. Lack of purpose
For many, the difficulties around decision making are more to do with a
lack of clarity on their purpose or direction, and so no clear sense of what
the decision should be through not knowing where you want the decision to take
you.
Always know
your purpose.
Thanks, Robert!
I will leave you to ponder what an anonymous person
once wrote:
I Dunno
I
sometimes think I’d rather crow
And
be a rooster than to roost
And
be a crow. But I dunno.
A
rooster he can roost also,
Which
don’t seem fair when crows can’t crow
Which
may help some. Still I dunno.
Crows
should be glad of one thing though;
Nobody
thinks of eating crow,
While
roosters they are good enough
For
anyone unless they’re tough.
There’s
lots of tough old roosters though,
And
anyway a crow can’t crow,
So
mebby roosters stand more show.
It
looks that way. But I dunno.
Now how is thát for indecision?
I think it must be quite a mission,
when you live a life plagued by indecision.
If you waver between two opinions,
how will you be able to make purposeful
decisions?
-------------------------------------
∞ -------------------------------------
“Ons maak onsself heeltyd gereed om te
leef, maar ons begin nooit lewe nie.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Waarom is dit die geval? Miskien het Emerson geweet dat
ons onsself terughou om te begin leef omdat ons soms so BESLUITLOOS kan wees. En kyk nou net
daar, jy het dit in die kol, want besluitloosheid en wyfelagtigheid is vandag
ons besprekingspunt, of is dit dalk nie… ek sal weldra besluit…
Die Franse kultuur kritikus, Jean Baudrillard, was van
mening dat jy ‘n oneindige hoeveelheid tyd voor jou nodig het om te begin dink,
en ‘n oneindige hoeveelheid energie nodig het om die kleinste keuse te maak. Met
‘n wêreld wat al hoe meer dig bevolk word, en die ontsaglike hoeveelheid
nuttelose projekte wat voor ons voete neergelê word, raak dinge verbysterend.
Al hierdie dinge moet opgeweeg word in ‘n weegskaal van onsekerheid, en omdat
jy nie eenvoudig kan verdwyn van alles nie, sterf jy in ‘n staat van algehele
besluitloosheid. Hoe waar is hierdie woorde nie? Ons almal behoort ook te weet wat
met daardie persoon gebeur wie in die middel van die straat bly staan – hy gaan
omgery word.
Besluitloosheid moet sekerlik een van die grootste
laste van die lewe wees. Dit
is so eenvoudig, as jy versuim om die regte keuses te maak, het jy klaar
besluit om verkeerd te leef. Maak dit sin? Kom ek stel dit anders –
besluitloosheid is ‘n keuse om verkeerd te leef. Verbeel jouself jy leef saam
met iemand wie besluitloos in bykans alles is. Jy sal nooit weet waar jy met daardie persoon
staan nie. O my genade, nee dankie… ‘n Joodse filosoof en geneesheer uit die 13de-eeu,
Maimonides, het gesê dat
selfs die risiko om ‘n verkeerde besluit te neem, meer aanvaarbaar is as die gruwel
van besluitloosheid. Kyk, jy maak duisende keuses elke liewe dag. Net deur hier
te lees, was (en is) ‘n keuse. Ten minste maak jy keuses, en sommiges hiervan
gaan goed wees, en sommiges gaan slegte keuses wees. Dit is die lewe, moet
jouself net nooit oorgee aan besluitloosheid nie. Niks is so uitputtend en
nutteloos soos besluitloosheid nie.
In sy aanlyn blad bespreek Robert Adams die ses primêre redes waarom
mense in besluitloosheid verval (sien
prentjie). Ek wil graag hierdie 6 punte kortliks hier opsom.
1. Paralise a.g.v. analise
‘n Gebrek aan al die feite wat noodsaaklik sal wees vir die maak van ‘n
lewensveranderende besluit, kan bydra tot besluitloosheid. ‘n Oor-analise mag
maak dat jy verval in ‘n “paralise vanweë analise”.
Probeer om nie altyd te oor-analiseer nie, gebruik soms jou
intuïsie as jy moet.
2. Beperkte oortuigings
Selfs al het jy al die feite, kan jy soms steeds besluitloos bly, want
jy is vasgevang in die verlede: mense van die verlede, gebeure van die verlede,
gedragspatrone van die verlede, edm. Hierdie kan ‘n gevoel skep dat jy jouself nie
wil losmaak van die verlede nie. Dit kan verhoed dat jy daardie belangrike
besluit neem.
Werk daaraan om die oortuiginge wat jou
beperk, te verminder of uit te skakel.
3. Afleiding
Daar is baie mense wie ontvanklik daarvoor is as iets hul aandag
aftrek. Hierdie afleidings word dan ‘n middel en ‘n regverdigingsgrond vir hul
besluitloosheid. Ongelukkig raak hierdie afleidings aan die einde van die dag
die grondslag waarop ‘n goeie of slegte besluit op hulle afgevorseer word.
Leer om te fokus en verantwoordelikheid te aanvaar vir jou eie
lewe.
4. Luiheid
Wanneer jy lui is, is dit makliker om geen besluit te neem en jouself
te verbind aan ‘n plan van aksie nie. Wat jy dalk nie besef nie, is dat die
keuse om lui te wees en nie ‘n besluit te maak nie, ‘n besluit op sigself is… dit
is net nie ‘n baie proaktiewe en positiewe besluit nie.
Neem beheer van jou lewe en jou
toegewydheid tot doelgerigte besluitnemings.
5. Spanning en angs
Om groot besluite te neem mag stresvol wees. Dit kan maak dat ons afsluit
en voel asof ons nie daartoe in staat is om ‘n besluit te maak nie. Dit is belangrik
om bewus te wees van al die emosies wat jou besluitnemingsproses beïnvloed.
Verander jou emosionele staat om sodoende
jou besluitnemingspotensiaal te verander.
6. Gebrek aan ‘n doelwit
Vir baie mense het die gebrek aan besluitneming meer te make met die
gebrek aan duidelikheid aangaande hul doel en rigting in die lewe. Dit maak dat
hulle nie ‘n duidelike begrip het aangaande besluitneming nie, want hulle weet
nie waarheen hul besluite hul gaan neem nie.
Wees altyd bewus van jou doelwitte.
Dankie Robert!
Ek gaan julle laat met ‘n gedig wat deur ‘n naamlose
persoon geskryf is. Ek gaan dit nie vertaal nie, want ek sal net onreg doen aan
die trefkrag daarvan. Geniet hom (of haar):
I Dunno
I
sometimes think I’d rather crow
And
be a rooster than to roost
And
be a crow. But I dunno.
A
rooster he can roost also,
Which
don’t seem fair when crows can’t crow
Which
may help some. Still I dunno.
Crows
should be glad of one thing though;
Nobody
thinks of eating crow,
While
roosters they are good enough
For
anyone unless they’re tough.
There’s
lots of tough old roosters though,
And
anyway a crow can’t crow,
So
mebby roosters stand more show.
It
looks that way. But I dunno.
Hoe is dít vir besluitloosheid!
Ek dink dit is een enorme stryd
Om ‘n lewe te leef wat geteister word
deur besluitloosheid.
Verdomp,
maak tog net ‘n besluit,
Jy sal sien of dit goed was met die
verloop van tyd!
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