Self-pity

“Self-pity comes so naturally to all of us, that the most solid happiness can be shaken by the compassion of a fool.”

André Maurois

What is self-pity? Well, it is seen as the self-indulgent belief that your life is harder and sadder than everyone else's. That is fortunately not the case, for I assure you that there are thousands, if not millions of people who are worse off than you think you currently are. What is the use of self-regret and self-pity? Suffering is a part of our existence, I know of not a single person who has not suffered once in his/her life. Do you know of such a person? Pity! Self-pity! I don’t think it’s wrong to show pity, to show sympathy in relating to other’s suffering, but it is certainly not healthy to withdraw yourself into a state of self-pity. Howard Schultz (an American businessman) made a striking remark when he said that you can go about life blaming a lot of people, and you can wallow in self-pity, OR you can pick yourself up and say: “Listen, I have to be responsible for myself”. “Pick yourself up…” This reminds me of the song old blue eyes (Frank Sinatra) sang, with the same title song. He sings:

Don't lose your confidence if you slip, be grateful for a pleasant trip,
and pick yourself up, dust off, start over again.

He didn’t say: Go and sit in a bundle and feel sorry for yourself.

Self-pity is surely one of our own worst enemies, and even the poet Maya Angelou says that self-pity in its early stage may be as snug as a feather mattress, but it is only when it hardens that it becomes uncomfortable. Walter Anderson reminds us that bad things will eventually happen, but it is how we respond to them that will define our character and the quality of our lives. You can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of your self-pity or you can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift you have — life itself.

Deep in self-pity
I contemplate grief.
there’s sorrow before me

and no hope for relief.

[excerpt from a poem by] Timothy Langley

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